we have officially lost it.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
