one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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