what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
