oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
