So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
