Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
