I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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