I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
