sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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