Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
