So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
