His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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