Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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