Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
