Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize