He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
