He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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