I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
