It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
