at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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