3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think I am morally bankrupt
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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