TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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