he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
