sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
