stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
