I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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