We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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