Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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