two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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