May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
