She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
