I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize