To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
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