the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
