I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
