she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize