Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
