I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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