I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize