Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
How naked do you want me to be?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
