god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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