I've blown a few things in my day
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize