Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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