Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just pee around me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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