tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
