Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize