she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i now understand why vodka
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
