she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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