Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
