smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
