It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
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My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
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speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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