Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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