member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
