He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
