There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
