Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
