I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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