She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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