I smell stomach acid.
bring money and cleavage
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
