every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So squirting runs in the family.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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