dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
