i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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