i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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